Smart-mouth purgatory

My friend sent these along, they will help us in what will probably be our future (but hopefully not permanent) destination, Smart-mouth Purgatory:

Zen Sarcasm

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

14. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

15. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

16. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking , you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

20. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

We don't need no stinkin' candy thermometer!

I have never mastered candy making, so I rely on 'cheater' type recipes. Not being a fan of the marshmellow creme faux fudge, I've settled on this cheater style stir up fudge:

Easy Fudge

3 oz. softened cream cheese
pinch salt
1/4 t almond extract (or other flavoring)
2 oz. melted chocolate or 2 oz. cocoa powder
2 1/2 c. confectioner's sugar.

Beat cheese to soften, add chocolate and other ingredients together. Press into greased pan and chilluntil firm.

Variations: use white chocolate chips , then add chopped glace cherries and almonds or pecans,
use dark chocolate, add a glaze of dark chocolate on top,
use wimpy milk chocolate and add mint flavoring and a mint frosting on the top,
use peanut butter chips and peanut butter, then marble with chocolate fudge (had to add a t. ofbutter to the peanut butter to make it mix together.

I was feeling cheap and bought an 8 oz dark chocolate candy bar and melted it instead of buying the baker's chocolate (the candy bars are on sale this time of year for $1.25 at Wal-Mart)

Blitzen

Which of Santa's Reindeer are you? Blitzen Like Blitzen you are sharp and a good coordinator. People look to you for direction and you always seem to have the right answer Find out which of Santa's Reindeer you are at Quizopolis.com

A Christmas Meme

A Christmas Meme
got this one from the Sass:

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate? either or both

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?Unwrapped

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? I like both, maybe all white is a bit better 4. Do you hang mistletoe? it sounds tacky to admit that I hang up plastic mistletoe, doesn't it?

5. When do you put your decorations up? sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? hmm, that leaves out a lot, maybe 7 layer dip 'n chips

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child:the feeling of anticipation, knowing that somehow, magically, Santa would come!

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? just figured it out last year, whadja mean?

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?not usually

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? In stages, we get it out, put on the lights, then come back and put on the ornaments, no tinsel

11. Snow! Love it or dread it? I would love it more if it didn't last so long (if spring came in Frebruary, for ex, how would that work for everybody out there?)

12. Can you ice skate? yes, but my ankles scream the whole time, now

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? I've been given a lot of really nice, thoughtful gifts over the years, can't pick one out

14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you? getting everything done ( or not), contemplating the birth of my Savior.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? cookies, mostly any kind
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? reading the story of Jesus' birth on christmas eve

17. What tops your tree? a paper mache star my husband made as a child, attached with non-original popsicle stick

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? both, same as the Sass.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song? I like a lot of them, almost all, really, The First Noel would be one of my faves

20. Candy canes: better for decoration than for human consumption.

21. Favorite Christmas movie? don't really have one, just saw Jim Carrey's Grinch again, and loved that

22. What do you leave for Santa? Cookies, and milk, sometimes a carrot for the reindeer.

let me know in comments if you do this meme too!

Free flowers !

I was given free flowers at the end of a wedding reception! lucky, lucky me!!!!

Abap purse

I miss the good old diaper bag! My purse is ABAP, as big as possible. I realized last week that I had carried my black purse through last spring, summer, and fall, and it was too late to change over to a camel colored purse I have. oh well.. slow me. Yeah, it's stuffed with everything possible. Yea, it's too big. oh well, I admit it gives me a certain amount of security, having my 'stuff' with me. Could be worse, I could have my things in a red dishpan (see previous post) !

'O'er the hills we go, dorky all the way'

My kids will tell you, I'm not a very stylish person. I wear flats, heels hurt my feet, and even elastic waistbands, the whole bit. When I go out in public, my goal is usually to look unremarkable (i.e., no food stains on my shirt, no weird looking hairstyle). This Sunday, however, I hit a new low (or high, depending on how you look at it) - I rolled into church carrying my very own red dish tub to carry my 'stuff' in. Now, admittedly, I was in a hurry, but as I'm walking up the hall I realize how stupid and how un-stylish I look. My friend noticed and teased me, so I bought her one today (I like to share my 'special' ideas). At least is a lovely seasonal color!