Last week I was shopping at the mall. I only get down there every other month or so (yah, like my husband believes that!), and so while I was there I thought I’d look at the bathing suits. I’ve been working on losing weight, and have lost 9 ½ pounds, with ½ pound to go for my reward… a new bathing suit!
I found a nice Speedo T-back, one piece with a floral strip on black, in my size, and hauled it back to the changing room.
Then things got ugly. Think ‘Cathy’ of comic strip fame. I know that on a continuum of 10+ glamour to short and dumpy, I fall pretty far on the ‘dumpy’ end. But I’ve been improving my eating habits, and exercising and hey! I’ve lost almost ten pounds!
I put on the swimsuit (looking back, I am amazed at my optimism) and looked in the mirror. I was prepared for the lumpy waist fat, but the swimsuit spandex was pretty thin, and not helping at all to make my waist look presentable. I knew about my albino-white legs, but wow! What a surprise to see that my varicose veins had transformed from rivers to flood plains in magnitude! Then, just to add to the total effect, I saw one last surprise (none of which, please note, have been pleasant surprises)- this suit had squished my back fat into two grotesque donuts of flab, hanging out just behind my armpits! Of all the ugly, disheartening sights!
Needless to say, I didn’t buy that suit. I know women ‘of my age’ shouldn’t expect perfection. Anyone who knows me knows I am pretty easygoing about stuff. I know there is a lot of cultural distortion about body image. But, really, it was a disheartening experience. Needless to say, there is no picture to go with this post!