Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Swimsuit season?

Last week I was shopping at the mall. I only get down there every other month or so (yah, like my husband believes that!), and so while I was there I thought I’d look at the bathing suits. I’ve been working on losing weight, and have lost 9 ½ pounds, with ½ pound to go for my reward… a new bathing suit!

I found a nice Speedo T-back, one piece with a floral strip on black, in my size, and hauled it back to the changing room.

Then things got ugly. Think ‘Cathy’ of comic strip fame. I know that on a continuum of 10+ glamour to short and dumpy, I fall pretty far on the ‘dumpy’ end. But I’ve been improving my eating habits, and exercising and hey! I’ve lost almost ten pounds!

I put on the swimsuit (looking back, I am amazed at my optimism) and looked in the mirror. I was prepared for the lumpy waist fat, but the swimsuit spandex was pretty thin, and not helping at all to make my waist look presentable. I knew about my albino-white legs, but wow! What a surprise to see that my varicose veins had transformed from rivers to flood plains in magnitude! Then, just to add to the total effect, I saw one last surprise (none of which, please note, have been pleasant surprises)- this suit had squished my back fat into two grotesque donuts of flab, hanging out just behind my armpits! Of all the ugly, disheartening sights!

Needless to say, I didn’t buy that suit. I know women ‘of my age’ shouldn’t expect perfection. Anyone who knows me knows I am pretty easygoing about stuff. I know there is a lot of cultural distortion about body image. But, really, it was a disheartening experience. Needless to say, there is no picture to go with this post!

3 comments:

Emily said...

the donuts of flab - i'm sorry, but your writing is hilarious! i should feel badly, but it just makes me want to laugh when you tell it like that!

also, don't give up. try a different swim suit style. :)

Muum said...

hmm, I will try again! tomorrow is another day!

Barbara said...

You do write wonderfully. Congratulations on your great loss! You are making great progress. Good for you. Don't let that stupid mirror discourage you. Find a suit you like better, and go swimming with people who love you and see your real beauty. Maybe by the end of summer, you will need another suit!